“What does being Asian American mean to you?”

I’ve attended as many UAAO and APA101 meetings as possible this past year and it was only recently when I started to reflect upon those experiences. The constant drilling of Asian American issues ranging from identity to coalition building; including several demonstrations of the UAAO fan-favorite “privilege walk” or “Four Corners”. For the most part during the discussion, I sat quietly during those meetings. Rarely questioning what I heard, I always listened and gave the occasional nod (Not because I was dozing off). That was good and all, but did I really understand what was going on? I was satisfied with whatever was presented at each meeting as long as I got to see the usual faces around the Yuri Kochiyama Lounge. It was not until much later did I start to understand, even if just a little about the Asian American issues.

Before writing this blog entry, one reflection that still sticks out prominently is when running for UAAO board. The former co-chair, Ms. CC Song, threw me a curve ball question and asked “What does being Asian American mean to you?” I was like “Woah” but if I recall I must have said something cheesy along the lines of “ummmm tough question…..I would say it’s about having the best of both worlds; having the Asian culture and traditions and yet the opportunities of being of an American”. Slightly disappointed by this answer, I still wonder what the answer to this question should be. Obviously it’s however you may define “Asian American” but how do I define it? Where do I start? Who do I ask?

A few months back, I decided to visit my uncle in North Carolina with my grandma and aunt, they started to reminisce about the times before they came to America. This naturally sparked my interest because it was my immigration story, my heritage. Whenever I was asked about my immigration story, it was what I called a “basic story” about how my grandparents came from China, moved to Trinidad, then a few years later, they came to New York around the 1970’s. The end. I was very ignorant because I didn’t know about all the struggles and sacrifices in between the journey, but now I do.

I realize how privileged I am! We are all privileged to go to an institution of higher education (and a very good, yet expensive one at that!) but it’s engulfed in a bubble. Only when off the campus and participating in programs like Alternative Spring Break did it allow me to apply some of the stuff from UAAO, APA101, and IGR. That was only the surface though. Coming back to New York for the summer allowed me to question a lot of other things. When I ride the bus, most people are people of color. When on a train, people are trying to scour for whatever change they can get with their talents or by trying to sell you an overpriced piece of candy. You can’t help but sympathize for the people who degrade themselves just so that they can make ends meet and feed their family.

I still don’t have a perfect answer to CC’s question of “What does Asian American mean to you?” The answer probably spans across hundreds of years of Asian American history and it’d probably take pages upon pages to come up with a decent answer. But the answer that I gave back then about having the best of both worlds was only because I am privileged to reap the rewards given to me by my ancestors, my grandparents, and all the others who came before me.
~Ray